Last night, hubby and I were chatting about how much our children have changed and grown. He was telling me how he doesn’t notice major changes until they have arrived because he sees them everyday. I explained to him that every mother has been advised by the little old lady at the mall or grocery store that “they grown up so fast”. I shared that it is such a conflicting concept because the younger years can be difficult and tiring which makes you want them to grow up faster, then when they do; you want to put the pause button on.
We recently visited some relatives that were eager to give us unsolicited advice. I was not prepared for this block of questioning and was later annoyed when I realized it was a planned discussion. The topic was me getting a full-time government job -thus securing my personal financial future and allowing us to own a home; that would in some way set up our children to own a home too.
My hubby was trying to reassure me later that I have to push the thoughts I had about being railroaded out of my mind because these family members aren’t going to budge from their ideals. I felt insulted by the discussion because I feel that by insisting that we do something other than what we are doing is saying that what we are doing is wrong. I tend to analyze conversations.
Here is what I know. My kids are halfway to adulthood now. They will only be kids for a short while. We will all be adults for scores-God willing. No government job or retirement planning is going to have me miss their youth. I am privileged that I can work part-time while my kids are in school and be there everyday to greet them and hug them at pick-up.
One day this past spring at pick-up, my daughter crumbled in my arms because she was upset about a lunchtime citation she received.She never gets in trouble and was embarrassed and confused. I can’t imagine if I wasn’t there to scoop her up and console her. And would a caregiver know to skip the usual after school plan to go to a math center and take her home to where she felt emotionally safe?
I will never regret the years I spent caring for my kiddos. I will never regret whooping it up at the glow-in-the-dark Dance-a-thon or panning gold for Gold-Rush week; or springing my daughter and her friend from school for lunch on her 10th birthday and zipping around town for ice cream and shopping. I’m never going to regret watching my son’s power-point presentation about soccer in class or helping his classmates come up with blessings to write on their paper turkeys last November.
I always knew this was the life I wanted to have and the mother I wanted to be.