Today is the 18th anniversary of my dad’s passing. For many years of the last nearly two decades, I thought of him rarely. The day he died (suddenly of a heart attack at age 37) I became enraged and was thrashing my room. I desperately played Bible Roulette demanding an answer from God. I immediately landed on John 11:26 , it reads: “Whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?” The Holy Spirit spoke to me, asking me if in fact I really did believe this. I suddenly had a peace that transcends all understanding and I coped well with his loss knowing that we would one day be reunited.

Lately, I find myself thinking about my dad more than ever. I believe it is because I have matured spiritually. I look back and I see my dad’s influence in major and seemingly minor moments since 1997. One for example, is the day Tia was born and I was wheeled up to the NICU to see her. What I saw was my dad’s face in her face. She doesn’t look much like him at all (we joke she is Sri Lankan), but in that instance it was like he was staring at me! Later that night in 2005, which was also Easter Sunday, my dad’s identical twin came to visit me in the hospital. That was unexpected as we rarely see one another. He poked his head through the door to say “hello”, for a few seconds I thought my dad was there to visit me the day I became a parent.

I often find myself laughing when “I’m wheeling and dealing.” You see my dad was a “hustler” in the best way. If he wanted something, anything; he could negotiate it- or at least try to. As a kid, I would feel embarrassed listening to him ask for free stuff when we were at stores, really anywhere (like an unfinished clog made during a demo session in Holland). I inherited the “hustle” and I’m proud. I am constantly negotiating better deals wherever I go.

When we took the pictures I posted last week we were at our local beach. We normally walk, but because of our fancy garb we drove. I refused to pay $8 to park for a 15 minute photo shoot. My husband was like “come on Corrita, just give me your card”. I was like “no, uh huh”! My mind stirred for a solution- “Bingo”!  I hailed a car that was leaving the lot and nicely asked for their parking slip. As I returned with my free parking, I told  K.K. (our photog) “your sister is a hustler”! She said, “just like, dad”! True.

Every time I score a deal I think of him. I’m reminded how even though he has been gone so long, he is right with me on the daily. I feel like I make him proud. He once told me (his name was Verney) that “whatever you sign your name to should be your best work”. That has stayed with me. I’m a better human because of my father. My dad was no angel, but in life you can glean from others the aspects that are superior. I know that I am destined for greatness and “everyday “I’m hustlin, hustling, hustlin’!”

Well hello! My husband recently returned from basic training for the Air force in Texas. It was a challenge having him away! We have never spent more than twelve days apart since we have been married. You know how people say they have a “broken heart”? I can relate; my heart literally ached half-way through the 2 months he was gone.I decided I wanted to give up “sweets” while he was training in solidarity. I’m so glad I did! I would have gained weight while he was there comforting myself!My word! You should see him! Everyone keeps commenting about how much weight he has lost! He is all muscle now!

While in Texas for his graduation; we were in a drive-thru when Patrick paused, I heard him say “Thank you ma’am, thank you sir, you will not be forgotten”. At nine o’clock every night “Taps” is played over the loudspeaker for our fallen heroes on base, each service person says a word of gratitude before bed. I love that every night these courageous souls are honored all over the globe!  I often lift up my own word of thanks and feel a tinge each time. So grateful for my husband and others like him that love this country in such a real way!

This month I was honoring someone else so special. This May marked the 10th anniversary of a deep and painful loss for me. May 2, 2004 was one of the most joyous days of our lives. Patrick and I were expecting our first child  and were so thrilled. At 21, I felt invincible and elated. We received flowers and congratulatory notes, we couldn’t contain our excitement and announced our pregnancy to friends and family that Mother’s Day! It never occurred to me that I would never hold this baby in this life. We were numb and devastated when it became certain our little one had traveled on the following month.

                       Congratulatory Note

Two months later I became pregnant with our Rainbow baby Tatianna. After her very easy pregnancy yet complicated birth; the Lord spoke to me about my first baby. I had prayed to learn the gender so that I could name this little soul. Names are valuable to God and this life deserved that. I always said I wanted a boy first to be the “Sheperd” of our “flock” of children. I recently added Sheperd’s name plaque to our wall-joining each of ours. It took me years to choose a name that was befitting. This is. He is my angel keeping watch. For years Tia has sweetly talked about Sheperd and refers to him as her “big brother”. It’s as if they’ve already met.  So grateful for his life that allowed my daughter’s to shine through.

Fifteen months ago on the eve of my 30th birthday, I woke up thrilled, I had a vision about a children’s book to write. It’s called “Odie the Newfie”- featuring real life historical events in rhyme that include my favorite dog the Newfoundland. Today I read my manuscript for Dr Seuss’ birthday. Parents come in to the class and read throughout the day. The children were enthralled with my book! It was so fun inspiring children to get excited about books! I know my kids love having mom there, I used to LOVE having my mom in the class- I think it makes them feel so special! I pray one day this book is in hardback and I will be putting signed copies in little hands!

It’s been way too long since I last blogged, thought I’d reacquaint ya’ll with some things you may not know about me…

(Patrick and I, dressed as Jon and Kate Gosselin 10/31/09)

1. I have had stitches twice, once on my face and once on my toe.

2. I’m über clumsy.

3. I am an Army brat and now an Airforce wife.

4. My husband wanted to join the AF 17 years ago, I told him I never want to be a military spouse.

5. I have a keen ear for language, if you give me a name I can tell you it’s derivative.

6. I have been to the Palace of Versailles, The Vatican, and most other bucket list places.

7. Growing up my family was “trapped” in Greece because of threats and couldn’t travel home to Germany.

8. I gave myself the Heimlich on a counter while choking, I was eating and dancing when it happened.

9. I went on a Medical Mission trip to The Gambia, West Africa at 17, one year later I became a vocational nurse.

10. My favorite food is ice cream. I invented a way to make Lavender ice cream that doesn’t taste weird.

11. I have had over 25 pets in my life, including, a snake, a tarantula, 3 rats and two  turtles, I’m now allergic to cats and dogs.

12. One turtle, Rodney ran away never to be found when I cleaned it’s aquarium outdoor. Very sad.

13. The L.A. Riots happened in my neighborhood.

14. My dad found Rodney while cleaning up a riot-ravaged pet store- the owner let us keep it.

15. I wrote a not-yet-published children’s book on Rodney and the Riots.

16. I have been a bookworm all my life and read every book in the Childcraft Encyclopedia series by age 7.

17.I met my husband  Patrick while in the Main Office of high school, I was there because of cramps and wanted to go home.

18. He told me the Holy Spirit told him I would be his wife on our first date, I thought he was nuts!

19. At age four my mom cut off all my hair after I tried to “make bangs”.

20. I had a hair complex for the following 23 years!

21. I stood in the same room where Ann Frank hid.

22. I was in a high school graduating class of 4 people.

23. I graduated college while on bed rest a week before Ethan’s birth, got out of bed and waddled across the stage.

24. I picked my daughter Tatianna’s name at 5 year’s old while watching MTV.

25. My husband and I are the other’s one and only!